summer is slipping away. she fell through my fingers quick this year, it seems. i guess it always seems that way.
there seems to be a theme of change echoing around these words of mine, lately. you might have noticed. september has always felt a truer beginning to me than any new year’s resolution could. the seasons change and everything feels a little crisper, a little sharper, a little hint of electricity in the air.
for the past 16 years, my life has been lived to the rhythm of the school year. perhaps that is why september brings with it feelings of fresh starts. sharpened pencils and blank notebooks.
and yet this year, it is different.
and so it has been a summer of adjusting. it’s settled in, now, really, that i am not a college student anymore.
first it was the tweets about packing. and then the instagrams of dorm rooms being decorated. and then, the facebook statuses about the first day of classes.
and it feels all sorts of wrong to not be there, and yet it feels right too. that chapter is closed and gone it’s time to move on but i’ve never really been the best with change.
i’ve been learning, how to sit with change. how to step back and let it all wash over you, how to accept. i’ve been trying to lean in. trying to delight. trying to let it be.
august, you’ve been teaching me.
i’ve been learning that the change does not come easy. and it is good and hard and beautiful and messy. oh, it is so many things. i could dump a dictionary’s worth of adjectives onto this keyboard and still, i do not think i could find the words to describe this summer of change. i can try and list it out, scribble notes and bullet points of things i want to remember.
i’m not so good at the remembering part. i have a tendency to learn my lessons over and over. let’s just say God teaches refresher courses.
but august – and july and june – you’ve been good to me.
and now september is peeking out from just around the corner. things will be changing. and i am longing for the electricity in the air. i will wrap my fingers around the beautiful things that this summer has taught me and i will walk forward with open palms, because there is yet more to learn.