what if we ruin it all, and love like fools, and all we have we lose?
Because I love like a fool. I love imperfect, messy and broken. I love by halves instead of wholes, I love hesitant and questioning.
I love failing. I love holding grudges and withholding forgiveness. I love in words but not actions.
I love full of doubts. I love only a little bit. I love protecting myself, I love without vulnerability.
I love impatient, I love unkind. I love selfishly and faithlessly.
I wish I could love better. I’m trying to learn. I’m trying to wrap my head around how perfectly God loves me. I’m trying to figure out how to accept that gift. Accept that love that I think I don’t deserve. Because that is the way I want to love others – the way He loves me.
Without measure. Without end. Without holding back.
I want to love with a wild love, a relentless love. I want to be loved with that love.
And it’s being offered to me. It’s been offered to me since I first heard “Jesus Loves Me”, since the day I was born, since the day a man hung on a cross that my heart might be His. Since before time and space even existed, I have been offered a perfect love.
So I’m saying yes. I’m chasing that love. I’m letting myself be loved. I am not going to run anymore, not going to hide. I’m going to seek it out and I’m going to soak it up, I’m going to breathe in that love and learn how to breathe it out.
Day by day I’ll try to love a little bit more wildly, a little bit more relentlessly. Because that’s how He loves me.