being broken isn’t fun.
I know this all too well. there are days when I feel shattered. moments when the cracks form in my soul and my fingers aren’t strong enough to keep it together. times when my delicate glass heart gets dropped onto a concrete floor. there are hours of tears, salt water dripping onto the shards of my heart that surround me.
do you have these days? I can’t be the only one.
I can’t be the only one, because we are all breakable and this world has a tendency to break things. so time and time again I fall apart, time again I find that my fingers were too clumsy with the Elmer’s glue and somehow my heart is breaking again.
and I know that I talk about this a lot. I’m sure you’re tired of the constant steam of synonyms for broken that appear all too often in this space.
but it happens all too often.
sometimes it’s because my life seems too overwhelming for me to bear. sometimes it’s because I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going. sometimes it’s because one of my friends is hurting and I am hurting for them. and sometimes – frequently – it’s because there are times when I realize just how big and messed up and yes, broken, this world is.
can you see? do you see how broken we all are?
and I am broken by the largeness of it all. broken for every teenager that feels a need to buy into someone else’s definition of beautiful. broken for every little boy that spends their days working in the fields or the factories, next to their parents who will never make enough to buy their freedom. broken for every that don’t know where their next meal is coming from, if there is even a next meal. broken for every college student that sits lonely in the dining hall. broken for every girl denied an education because of her sex. broken for every one that doesn’t have friends they can call family. broken for everyone without hope, without love.
does it not break your heart, the amount of pain in this world?
it’s not fun.
but it’s only when I am broken, broken by the weight of the world, broken for all those that are broken, that I am able to love them.
only when I am unable to hold my heart together myself do I hand the pieces to the Healer. only when I realize how badly the world is broken do I pay attention to those hurting around me. only when I see how desperately we all need the Lord that I ask him to let me help make His name known.
being broken hurts, but only in my weakness do I let the Lord be strong for me.