call-and-response with the Most High

What do you seek?

You have said, “Seek my face.”

My hearts says to You, “Your face, Lord, do I seek. Hide not Your face from me.”

Psalm 27:8

I don’t seek His face.

I seek lots of things. A good GPA, a boyfriend, cuter clothes, a perfect body, approval from my friends, pleasure, success. I seek out so many things that are for me, are for my own gratification.

You have said, “Seek my face.”

But more insidious are the things I seek that seem to be of God, but are not God. I want to be seen as the good Christian girl. I want approval from my peers for reading my Bible every day, for going to church on Sundays and Bible study on Wednesdays. I try to keep His laws and I try to not let people know when I don’t. I read my Bible and I read the Christian books and the Christian blogs and listen to the Jesus music.

“Your face, Lord, do I seek. Hide not Your face from me.”

This has become the cry of my heart lately, engaged in a call-and-response with the Most High King. A desperate song of my soul. He has awakened the divine in me and it is calling out to see Him, to know Him.

A desire to see His face, to see His glory, to be in His presence. A desire that has to fight with a thousand other desires, a thousand other things my flesh seeks, when my heart longs only to seek His face. A desire that gets caught sometimes, trapped between my heart and my head, but Lord –

Your face do I seek. I’m trying so hard to run only after You, to seek Your presence, to obey Your will. Abba, Father, please – hide not Your face from me.

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